John Betz Jr.

I have a standup comedy show, and I talk about teaching high school math, being married, lots of fun things you can do and other stuff. I'm pretty flexible, so if there are topics you want jokes about, tell me before the show and I'll try to write some for you. That's the kind of customer service you won't find anywhere else.

My show is awesome because I use well-written material with killer delivery, impeccable timing and cleverly-placed voice inflections to entertain audiences to the point where they might wet themselves. I pretty much stand in the same area the whole time. A couple of times I move back and forth, but not very much. People with vertigo should feel safe watching my show

I think you'll like my standup show. Lots of people do. I've had a 99.3% approval rating from audiences. That 0.7% you can't really count because my ex-girlfriend was in the audience and she was mad about the jokes I made about her.

Thanks for reading this. I hope to see you at my show. Please say 'hi' to me after the show. It makes me feel like I have lots of cool friends. If you wet yourself or shoot something out of your nose during the show, please remember to tell me that, too. Comics really enjoy hearing that kind of stuff. It's the comedic equivalent of teaching a child to read. Just knowing I've made a difference involving a bodily function is its own reward.